Things one should learn in college

In this Issue: today we talk about things one should ideally learn in college

Today I am bringing back a past column from the archives. There may be things in here worth talking about with your Deac when they are home on break (either Thanksgiving or Winter break), and I want to give everyone a head start in reflecting on this topic.

College learning doesn’t just take place in the classroom – as a matter of fact, we talk about the whole campus as a classroom. Here’s my list of what I hope our students learn in college. You and your Deac might have other ideas – and it could be fun to talk about those and compare notes.

Things one should learn:

• How to be a good friend.  This includes being willing to spend time with someone who is in need, really listening to them, not judging. (Remember you can refer friends to 336.758.CARE if you are concerned about them!)
• How to have a productive conversation with someone who thinks differently than you – to have a civil, polite conversation.
• To be a critical consumer of information. This means not blindly accepting what someone says (or what you read on the internet). Check sources. Do your homework.
• That someone else succeeding doesn’t diminish your achievements in any way, so lift people up when you can.
• That you should always have a plan when you are traveling: know where you are, know how you are getting home, and have enough money to get there. This is especially important when you are in a foreign country.
• To do what you know is right, even if that is not what others are doing.
• That there is no ‘perfect’ in life. And it is OK not to be perfect. ‘Good enough’ is enough.
• What your body needs in terms of nutrition, exercise, sleep. Your proportions will be different from other peoples’ and you need to honor your own limits.
• That there will be bad times, sad times, disasters, and crises in your life. And while uncomfortable, those times will pass and good things will come again.
• That “comparison is the thief of joy.”
• Where you will draw the line in terms of ethics and values. What is worth compromising? What is *never* worth compromising?
• What is important to you in a relationship (be it friendship, romance, etc.)  You will be a better partner if you know what you want and need.
• That you are only as good as your word, and it is easier to maintain a good reputation than try to repair a tarnished one.
• That is is OK to ask for help when you need it. Not just OK, it is smart to ask for help.
• That there are very few things in life that are permanent, so normal mistakes or missteps don’t determine your future.
• How to fight fair.  Choose your words wisely, because “once said, never unsaid.”
• That helping others gives as much to you as it does to them.

That’s my first pass. What would you add to (or remove from) this list? Is this something you’d want to talk about with your Deac? What do you hope to impart to them?