Being with family at the holidays reminds me of one of the best things I learned in my adult life. I am by nature a fixer, so if someone tells me they have a problem, I want to jump immediately into helper mode (offering suggestions, etc.) Early in my marriage I realized that when Mr. Daily Deac was telling me about a problem, it wasn’t because he wanted me to fix it, he just wanted to be heard.
So if he came to me with a story of some problem or frustration, I got into the habit of asking him “What’s my role here? Am I just listening, or am I offering suggestions?” and then I’d let him tell me what he needed. It was hugely helpful.
Along those lines, today’s question or topic of conversation is “In those times when you’re at school and you tell me you have an issue or a problem, how do you want to let me know if you are just looking to vent and have a sympathetic ear, or if you want my advice or input?”
— by Betsy Chapman ’92, MA ’94
Categories: the daily deac