Column A and Column B

In this Issue: today we talk about having to make choices and prioritize what you want

For the longtime Daily Deac-ers, you may recall my oft-mentioned theory of Column A and Column B. Imagine a piece of paper, with Column A on the left and Column B on the right. Both columns have options underneath them from which you are meant to choose.

So often in life, we want to have everything all at once. We want to pick something from Column A and Column B, not just from one column. But life does not always give us a choice with ands, it sometimes gives us a choice of ors.

There will be times in your student’s college experience where they can’t have all the things they want at once. So they will need to make choices and prioritize what is most important to them.

Sometimes those choices are easy: maybe their friends want to go to a party on Thursday night but your Deac has a test Friday they need to prepare for. That might be a pretty simple decision. 

But sometimes the decisions could be more complex: which semester/summer do I go abroad (if I go at all)? Do I want to live on campus all four years or move off as a senior? Do I try to go for an unpaid internship this summer for the work experience, or do I get a job to bank some money? Each of those decisions have pros and cons a student must balance, and whether they choose Column A or Column B, students need to be realistic with their expectations, anticipate the consequences of their decisions, and accept the trade offs they might be making.

Parents and families, you can help your students understand how to think through decisions. You can talk about how there are always outcomes of decisions – some are positive, some are negative, some are neutral. You choose as best you can. For the rest of their lives, our students are going to have to make decisions where they can’t get Column A and Column B, but help them see it is OK not to get everything at once. In fact, sometimes NOT getting something you want can be a blessing in disguise.  

As you think about Column A and Column B, there is a lesson in here for families as well. Sometimes there might be a really fun and interesting thing happening on campus (e.g., food trucks, famous speaker, free cake, you name it) that your student can’t go to because they have a class or a lab that conflicts with it. With over 5,000 undergraduates and literally hundreds of classes and events, it simply isn’t possible to schedule every fun thing at a time when every student is available. Rather than being upset that Fun Thing X is being held at a time your Deac can’t go, you can choose to focus on the many opportunities of things they can opt into.