Decisions, Decisions

In this Issue: we talk about decision-making and why this can be hard for our students (and where families can help!)

Happy Friday, Deac families! I hope you and your Deacs are looking for a relaxing and restorative weekend!

In yesterday’s issue of WFU Should Know, the weekly enewsletter we send all students on Thursday afternoon, there was an item about Program of Study declaration:

“Program of Study Declaration will begin on Feb. 3 for undergraduate students who have earned 40+ hours. Declarations will be made by submitting requests in Workday. It is essential to submit your request in Workday early enough to allow time for review and approval. If your major is approved, the department will provide an advisor to assist you in planning your program of study for your junior and senior years. A student must declare a major prior to declaring a minor, concentration, or foreign area study. Major/minor advising begins March 17, with Fall 2025 registration to follow starting April 1.”

Program of study (i.e., major declaration) is one big decision, so today I want to talk about a variety of decisions students might consider, and how you can help.

At this point in the spring semester, we have students facing many kinds of decisions: as mentioned above, current sophomores are probably thinking about declaring a major, and some of them are starting to find out decisions of abroad applications and trying to plan their semester. Current first-year students might be starting to think about abroad options, and who they might want to room with next year. Juniors might be trying to decide about internships and future careers, as well as whether they want to live off campus senior year. Seniors are likely thinking about the job search or grad/professional school applications, where to live after graduation, and so more.

Today’s blog isn’t about which major to choose or whether/where/when to go abroad or where to live, but it is more about the general decision making process itself.  Some of our students have no problem making decisions. For others, they seem to be experiencing either difficulty in making the decision, and/or regret about possible consequences of that decision.

Without being able to see inside people’s heads, I don’t know  their reasons for the struggle to decide – but I have a couple of guesses:

– It might be that students are afraid of making the wrong choice.

– Or they are afraid of missing out on something fun by choosing X over Y.

– Maybe they are afraid there will be disapproval (real or imagined) from family and friends.

– Or even if students think X is the best choice, they have some anguish that by choosing X, a whole series of doors will close forever or there will be wonderful opportunities they miss as a result that will negatively impact the rest of their lives (as seen in this cartoon).

In other words, it seems that for some students, they might be attributing a lot of weight to a choice that in reality might not be a game changer.

At this stage in their development, your students may not know that not every decision is an Epic, Life-Altering, No-Way-to-Go-Back decision. You can help them keep things in perspective: talk to them about some decisions you have made – good and bad – and help them get used to the idea that you aren’t ever going to be 100% right and 100% wise all the time – and that’s ok. Sometimes we don’t choose the best option, but I guarantee we learn from that choice nonetheless.

There is a second piece to decision making that may also come into play – which is wanting to do A, but being unhappy with the consequences. When I hear students who are going through this, it most often sounds to me like they did not think through all the potential outcomes of a decision, and then once they were going through the aftermath they are unhappy. I think about seniors who were very excited to move off campus for their senior year, but unhappy that there are limited commuter parking passes and they may have to park in a farther away commuter lot (vs. if they lived on campus senior year and could park in the student lots). In these instances, an ounce of prevention can be worth a pound of cure, and your students may need help thinking through the impact of decisions. That’s where your life experience can be hugely helpful.

Parents and families, you can help our students understand how to think through decisions – and reassure that few choices are permanent!  You can help them understand that there are always outcomes of decisions – some are positive, some are negative, some are neutral. And for the rest of their lives, our students are going to have to make decisions where all the results will not be ideal.  They will have to prioritize their wants and try to get the most of what they want and (hopefully) the least of what they don’t want.

With decisions, there will always be compromises, and sacrifices, but also wins.  And as they learn that, the more comfortable they might be thinking ahead, planning, and making those choices with more confidence and realism about outcomes.