In this Issue:
- Having your student home for Thanksgiving – but they are gone a lot
- P’27s: Weekly Message and Letters So Dear
- 10 days left of classes and Lighting of the Quad
Hope everyone in the Daily Deacdom had a happy Thanksgiving and that your students have traveled safely back to campus. My family had a great time together – but I woke up this morning with what I hope is just a cold (only time will tell) so today will be brief.
Having your student home for Thanksgiving – but they are gone a lot
I am in an online community of moms who were all pregnant together and due in November 2004 – we were each others’ support through our pregnancies and just stayed in our group ever since. So we all have 18 year olds, many of whom are in college.
One of my friends was 100% honest and vulnerable in our group this weekend and admitted that the first Thanksgiving home with her ’27 (at another school) was not what she thought it would be. Her ’27 spent most of their time home with their friends, not the family, and mom is a little disappointed and hurt. While she understands that this is part of the letting go process, that doesn’t mean it feels good.
Here was my take on it – and I am sharing here in case any of y’all had a similar experience:
If your student comes home and wants to spend most of the time with their friends, that is totally developmentally appropriate. It means they feel secure with their immediate family (their love, their place in the family, etc.). Students want to check in with their home friends because that is less steady, less certain. They are wondering ‘are we still friends? All good? Has our relationship changed?’
While it might be painful to us as parents that our students want to spend a lot of time with friends, remember that is normally because they feel secure in your love, and unsure about where they stand with their home friends.
And preview of coming attractions for winter break: they will come home exhausted from finals and want to sleep a lot. They will be happy to be home for the first 1-4 days, and happy at whichever holiday you celebrate. But many (most?) students will be itching to go back to school pretty quickly.
It’s not that they don’t love you, or aren’t happy to be home. It’s just that home, no matter how great it is, isn’t teeming with friends, 24/7 activities, and all the resources like the gym, multiple eating venues, parties, etc.
Forewarned is forearmed 🙂 so don’t let it rattle you if it happens at winter break. Our kids still love us and love home.
P’27s: Weekly Message and Letters So Dear
10 days left of classes and Lighting of the Quad
There are only 2 weeks (10 days) left of classes, so we have moved on to the lightning round of school where everything feels like it’s moving at double time. As stress builds, it’s important for your students to find some releases. One is coming up tomorrow night at 7:30: the Lighting of the Quad. This is great holiday fun: music, remarks, candles, and lots and lots of holiday lights. Encourage your Deacs to go.