There is a bright yellow thing in the sky we have not seen in several days. It is called the sun. FINALLY, after days and days of what felt like endless rain, we are dry. What I would not give to have been able to send all that rain out to our friends in California.

It is a beautiful, cool Friday. Already it looks like some of our Deacs are heading home for Thanksgiving. Saw a few students putting suitcases into cars. I know they will be ready to see you.

I was not able to get Monday’s Message for First Year Families up – so I am going to post it here. It’s all about how things might be different at Thanksgiving. And while this might be most relevant to our P’22s, probably some good reminders in here for everyone.

Make it a great weekend, Deac families! And for those about to face Laundry Mountain, I salute you 🙂


Thanksgiving Break is likely the first time your Deacs will be home for an extended period of time.  Here are a few DOs and DON’Ts to consider for your reunited family.


Ask them about their friends. Those are the important people surrounding your Deac. You’ll want to get to know them.

Ask them about the classes or experiences they have particularly liked. That shows interest.

Listen more than talk. This helps your Deac have room to express him/herself.

Show support for their choices. This shows your Deac that you trust them to run their own lives and affairs.

Let them sleep in. They will be tired.

Show them some TLC. Tender Loving Care from mom, dad, and loved ones is always a good thing.

Encourage them to seek support if they need it. Remind your Deacs that good self-care – whether tutoring, counseling, mentoring – is smart.


Ask your Deac what his/her major is going to be. That can add pressure to decide when there is still plenty of time to decide.

[Related to above] Say “what on earth will you do with an X major?”  Very few jobs require a specific major.

Comment on your Deac’s appearance. If your Deac has gained a few pounds, is in need of a haircut, or is otherwise looking different than you expected, he/she knows that already. And does not want a reminder.

Get involved in the details. Those details could be your Deac’s schedule, their plans to go Greek (or not), their intended major, etc. Let your student have the space to sort that out themselves.

Be offended if they want to spend time with their friends from high school. They may need to reassure themselves that those friendships are still solid.

And the biggest DO of all – do have fun!


— by Betsy Chapman ’92, MA ’94

Categories: campus life


Recent Posts