Well, the first (and very long) day of sorority recruitment is over. Here’s a procedural recap of what took place yesterday and will take place today.
At the end of Day 1 (yesterday), sororities choose which women they would like to invite back for Day 2 events. The women select the chapters they are most interested in returning to the next day. This process is called “mutual selection.”
Day 2 (today) – Women are invited back to a maximum of six sorority events (though less is a possibility). At the end of Day 2, sororities choose which women they would like to invite back for Day 3 events, and the women select the chapters they are most interested in returning to the next day.
So as women get notice of which events they are invited back to today, some will be breathing sighs of relief that they are still in the running with the sororities they most wanted, others will be disappointed not to have gotten return invites from their favorites. I would expect at this point that virtually everyone will have been invited back to some events.
Parents and families, this is the time for you to help your daughters keep things in perspective. If they didn’t get their top choice, remind them that this is not the end of the world. When one door closes, a window opens – and they may find lots of very interesting young women in the sororities who are interested in them. Again, urge your daughters to keep an open mind and not make hasty decisions to drop.
Also, this is a terrific time to remind your daughters (if their self-esteem seems a bit shaky from a rejection), that they are much more than letters on a tshirt, and wearing them (or not) does not diminish all their wonderful qualities, skills, talents, and worth to the world. If your daughter has a disappointment, there is something to be learned from this – that she can process it and come out stronger and more self sufficient because she has been through a challenging situation and learned from it.
While we hope that everyone can take the news of invites back (or not) with grace, we know there are painful moments for some ladies. Should that be your daughter’s case, urge them to talk to their GRC (Greek Recruitment Coordinator), their RA, or to consult the staff of the Counseling Center. All these folks have seen women go through recruitment woes in the past and your daughters will find a soft place to land with them.
And for those young women who seem to be getting everything they want – and are naturally excited about it – it may also help for you to gently remind them that not everyone is feeling as positively, and to be sensitive to those around them (roommate, hallmates, friends) who aren’t feeling as good. Students can have a difficult time navigating the issue of ‘I am happy and I want to share it – can’t she be happy for me?’ with the opposing viewpoint of ‘I am not happy with my situation and I don’t want to hear how great yours is.’ This is a learning moment for everyone, but encourage compassion, empathy and understanding for both parties.
We’ll hope for a good Day 2 for everyone. And I will leave you today with a frequent mantra of my late grandmother, who was very fond of saying “This Too Shall Pass.” What seems like a big deal today will not be a big deal forever, and if our ladies can keep that in mind, they can keep a small speedbump of disappointment from turning into a giant mountain.
Hang in there, parents and families!
PS – I am reminded that there is another option for young women that will come after the formal recruitment process – Kappa Alpha Theta. Details from our Q&A with the Greek Life office are below.
How can women join the new sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta?
This year is an exciting one for the Wake Forest Panhellenic community because we are welcoming Kappa Alpha Theta back to campus. Previously closing due to low membership (no judicial issues, we promise), Kappa Alpha Theta, or Theta for short, is a great option for women who are interested in building a group from the ground up. It is also a great opportunity for those who do not find a chapter that fits their needs during the formal recruitment process. With help from two Theta staff members stationed on campus over the next two years, the group will be chartered by the end of spring semester and continue to build its presence on campus. Theta does not have a designated lounge space in the residence halls, but they have applied to get space in the next year or two.
Theta will be participating in the first day of formal recruitment to provide general information to women going through the process. These women will also get to meet members of Kappa Alpha Theta from nearby chapters such as Duke. Please note that women are not required to go through formal recruitment to join Theta. At the end of January, two weeks after the conclusion of formal recruitment, Theta headquarters staff and alumni volunteers will conduct an interview process to select their new members. In doing so, they will attempt to mimic the composition of other chapters, selecting members from all four classes to spread out knowledge and leadership abilities.
For information such as dates and times of interviews, please keep checking our Greek Life website. We will update it as soon as dates become available.
Categories: greek life