I was having dinner lastnight at a casual local place and ran into a gaggle of WFU women, one of whom is an advisee of mine. We chatted for a few minutes about the holidays and her family, and I asked her how recruitment was going. “Pretty nervewracking?” I asked, and she seemed to agree that it was both exciting and nervy at once. The general consensus in the group was that lastnight was going to be a big night for the ever-narrowing set of invitations to return the next day, and that sleep might be difficult.
So I know there will be young women who get what they want for another day, and others who will be disappointed. I heard some disappointment even yesterday – moms who are worried about their daughters, daughters who are sad. If your students are in this situation, they can reach out to their RA or their Greek Recruitment Counselor, or you can email firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll try to connect your daughter with a sympathetic ear on campus (there is a small, informal army of fantastic women who are here to help, augmenting the excellent work done in the University Counseling Center when students need support and understanding).
If your daughter is in the situation this morning where she is lamenting the invites she received/regretting not being invited back to others, let me offer a couple of words of wisdom from one of my wise colleagues who wrote this to a mom yesterday: “Keep an open mind. I didn’t and I regretted it later. There are wonderful girls in every sorority on campus and she will find friends anywhere she goes. She should continue to go to parties. She has nothing to be ashamed about and this happens to wonderful girls.”
Quite accidentally, I bumped into a fantastic mother and daughter yesterday; the daughter is a senior, and we had been in touch her freshmen year to discuss some recruitment issues and some other things, and we’ve stayed cyber in touch with each other. We were discussing recruitment and the daughter is well established in her sorority and loving it. She spoke proudly of opportunities she’s had for leadership, the connections she made with the other sisters. I am guessing here, but it did not sound like this was her first choice of sorority on day one of recruitment. But it turned out to be the best choice. There’s a lesson in that somewhere : )
Hang in there, everyone. And let us know if we can help.