Setting Expectations for Thanksgiving Break
Thanksgiving Break is quickly approaching, and for many of you, this will be the first time your student—or Deac—has been home since Move-In. This reunion is exciting, but it can also be a time of unexpected tension as your student navigates the transition from campus independence back to home life.
Before your Deac walks through the door, a proactive conversation is key.
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- Clarify Expectations: It helps to think through your expectations beforehand. Will there be a curfew? Are they expected to prioritize family time over seeing high school friends?
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- Encourage Independence: It is equally important to hear what your student is hoping for. As they gain independence, acknowledge their new autonomy.
By discussing these points, both parties know where the other stands, allowing you to determine compromises as needed for a restful and enjoyable break.
Do’s and Don’ts for a Great Thanksgiving Break
To help you plan, we’ve gathered a few key Do’s and Don’ts to ensure a smooth transition and a meaningful break:
✅ DO
| Focus Area | Action | Why It Helps |
| Listen | Listen more than you talk. Give your Deac the space to express themselves about their college experience. | This affirms their new independence and shows support. |
| Inquire | Ask about their friends, classes, and favorite experiences. These are the people and moments shaping their life now. | It shows genuine interest in their life without being intrusive. |
| Rest | Let them sleep in. They are likely exhausted from midterms, papers, and late-night studying. | Sleep is essential for their physical and mental recovery. |
| Encourage | Show support for their choices, whether it’s their extracurriculars or their major exploration. | This communicates trust and encourages them to pursue their passions. |
| Care | Offer Tender Loving Care (TLC). Simple acts of comfort from family—like a favorite meal—are invaluable. | Every college student, no matter how independent, appreciates home comfort. |
| Wellness | Encourage them to seek support if they need it. Remind your Deac that seeking tutoring, counseling, or mentoring is a smart act of self-care. | This normalizes using campus resources for success. |
❌ DON’T
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- Don’t talk about their major (or yours). Please avoid asking, “What is your major going to be?” or suggesting/hinting about one you would like them to pursue. There is still plenty of time, and this adds unnecessary pressure.
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- Don’t critique their appearance. If your Deac needs a haircut, has a scraggly beard, or has gained a “Freshman 15,” they are already aware. Please do not comment on their weight or how they look.
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- Don’t get overly involved in the details. Give your student space to sort out their course schedule, campus activities, or social plans (like Greek life) themselves.
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- Don’t be offended if they want to see high school friends. They may need to reconnect and reassure themselves that those friendships are still solid. It’s often a sign that they feel comfortable and secure in their relationship with you!
And the biggest DO of all: Do have fun and enjoy the time together!