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Navigating the Frantic Phone Call/FaceTime/Text

by Betsy Chapman

Sometime during the first few weeks of the term, you may receive an emotional phone call,  FaceTime, or text expressing sudden frustration about classes, roommates, making friends, and whether they ‘fit’ at Wake Forest.

When this happens, take a deep breath. Your student is likely using you as a safe space to vent in a heightened moment. Here is how you can help them build long-term resilience:

  • Listen with empathy: Respond with comforting validation (“I hear how frustrating that sounds”) rather than rushing to fix the problem.

  • Prompt their problem-solving: Instead of offering immediate directives, ask open-ended questions like, “What options have you considered?” or “Who on campus can help with this?”.

  • Practice the 24-48 hour rule: Wait a day or two before checking back in on their specific situation they shared with you. In most cases, a good night’s sleep helps your student put the issue into perspective, even while you are still carrying the worry.

Venting is a healthy release valve. If you believe a situation requires professional campus attention, you can always contact we.wfu.edu or 336.758.CARE for guidance. These bumps in the road are an essential part of the journey, and your calm, loving presence is the greatest reassurance your student can have.

Pro tip for the next Frantic Phone Call (because you will get another!): when these calls come, it can be helpful to begin your part of the conversation by asking “What is my role here? Am I just listening and empathizing? Are you asking for suggestions/help?” And then do what your student asks (this sometimes means biting your tongue when you are dying to offer a suggestion, but you will help your student more by giving them what they say they need in that moment).

Contact

To contact the Office of Family Engagement or Family Communications, please visit our contact page.

For mental health assistance: 336-758-CARE (2273) is a service that ensures someone will always be available (i.e., 24/7 M-F, weekends and university holidays) to provide caring and thoughtful consultation services for Wake Forest students in need of mental health assistance or support. You can also visit we.wfu.edu for resources.