Homesickness

In this Issue:

• P’30s, reminder to complete our Orientation survey
• Some additional OPCD events for students
• How to help if/when your Deac is homesick

I am out of the office this afternoon, so this is a pre-post

P’30s, reminder to complete our Orientation survey

P’30s, if you have not already done so, please take a few minutes to share your feedback on our survey on Family Orientation. We have not gotten a lot feedback from you yet, and we strongly rely on new families’ feedback to help us make improvements to Family Orientation for next year. Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts with us.

Some additional OPCD events for students

In yesterday’s Daily Deac, we mentioned the upcoming Career Fair on 9/16. I just discovered the OPCD’s Events for Deacs website, which is a ‘curated preview of upcoming opportunities available to our community, with the full lineup on Handshake.’ This is a page worth bookmarking if you are a student!

How to help if/when your Deac is homesick

Homesickness can come at different times. It could have hit as soon as you said goodbye to your student after Move-In, or when they are missing a milestone at home (a birthday, etc.). For some students, they might not feel homesick at all – and that is OK too. And homesickness isn’t limited to a student’s first year – it could hit at any year.

So how can you help if you think your student is homesick?

Provide a comforting ear when your student calls/texts you. Remind your student that the start of college (or the start of a new year) is always an adjustment and it’s normal to miss home, family, pets, etc.

Encourage your student to be open about what they are feeling. They can talk to others on their hall – roommate, hallmate, RA – or within their friend group. There are likely other students feeling the same way, and they can bond together.

Send care packages. Some of your student’s favorite non-perishable foods from home can be a great comfort. Hint: if you send enough to share, your student can knock on the doors of their hallmates to share the bounty and make a few friends that way.

Resist the urge to call or email them too much. Let your student set the schedule of how frequently they wish to talk to you.

Finally, consider not responding to a phone call or text from your student as soon as they send it. But Betsy, that sounds so mean?!?! Why wouldn’t I want to respond right away?, you may be thinking. Here’s why:

Say your student has a fight with their roommate. They might reach out to you immediately for comfort, to distract themselves from this fight and make themselves feel better. But it’s important for students to have a chance to feel their feelings – especially difficult ones – and sit with them for a while.

In the short term, your Deac might feel better having called you and been distracted from their issue. But by talking to you and getting immediate validation, your Deac hasn’t had a chance to realize “I had a fight with my roommate and I am angry and frustrated…but I am also OK.”

We all need to learn that it is OK and normal to have bad days, or difficult emotions, but they pass, and we can live with them. That’s one way students learn to be resilient. And that realization may not hit them if they get an immediate response from you. 

Finally, remind your student to be patient with the bumps in the road as they adjust to the start of the semester. Things will settle down as the weeks unfold.