Top 5 Tips for New Families
Since today is still a superbusy one with new student and family Orientation, this is a pre-post. Today I want to talk about two things: the drop/add process for classes, and my top 5 tips for new families. But a quick note: some of you have asked me where to find the recording of Flourish in the Forest, our program from Wait Chapel lastnight. I don’t have it yet, but will post it in the Daily Deac once it’s up on the web.
First, to academics. Our new students (’26s) will have the opportunity to adjust their schedule, as course availability allows, after they have met with their assigned academic adviser on August 19. (Continuing students – sophomores through seniors – can make adjustments to their schedules now).
The Office of Academic Advising has a website with some of the basics of dropping and adding classes. And the Academic Services calendar on the Registrar’s website shows key academic dates for things like drop/add or a course withdrawal (i.e., leaving the course after the drop-add period, so it will show on your transcript as a W). BUT it is also really important for students to understand that the deadlines for drop/add or course withdrawals do not always mean a student can get that process done same day. Some of these processes, depending on when you start them, could require an adviser’s signature, faculty approval, etc. That can take time. So be sure your students plan appropriately for deadlines. And remember that although rare, those deadlines can change, so check those calendars often just in case a date shifts.
Now to my Top 5 tips for New Families (apologies to our Pre-Orientation families who heard this at our move-in reception).
The transition to college/feeling at home takes at least a full semester, if not a full year – so do not panic if your Deac is 3 days/weeks/months in and it doesn’t feel perfect yet. Sense of belonging takes time and effort on students’ part – getting involved in clubs and organizations, meeting lots of people, etc. Students will get out of it what they put in it – so urge them to get involved and put themselves out there.
Bumps in the road are normal and to be expected. College is harder than high school, so your student might have to work/study differently. BUT we have tons of resources: office hours, free tutoring, advisers, faculty and staff who care – students just have to let us know you need help! There can also be bumps in friend groups, struggles to find your place, etc. Those bumps in the road are part of the college transition.
Parents and families will serve your student best if you maintain a “consultant” role (where you listen and give emotional support, but not answers). While they are at college, in most cases, your STUDENT should be the one to do the work, make the call, ask the question, research the website, give the feedback, take ownership, etc. Your problem solving skills are already well-developed. This is their time to build their skills. And remember that your student calling you to vent frustrations is NOT an automatic call to action for the family! Let them vent, support them, but let them handle their own business as much as possible.
Remind your students to treat their friends-at-other-colleges’ social media accounts with a degree of skepticism. People tend to post pictures of themselves when they are having the most fun, they look great, are surrounded with 10 friends, everything is amazing, etc. – not when they feel lonely, are trying to find someone to eat lunch with, or wondering what they will do when it’s Friday night and they don’t have plans yet. It can look like your best high school friend from [Insert College Name] is having a waaaay better time than you based on their Instagram, but remember that is a heavily-curated medium. The bumps in the college transition hit every student at every college.
Encourage your Deac to take care of themself. In order to bring their best self to their schoolwork, their relationships, etc., they need adequate sleep, some healthy food, and moderate exercise. Self-care is critical, and make sure you remind your Deac to invest in their wellbeing.
I want to add one more tip – and that is for our new students to be very cautious at the start of the academic year about underage drinking. In every college town in the USA, local law enforcement know when move-in is and are on the lookout for underage drinkers. Here is a link to my advice to families of new students last year; while the post is a year old, the info in it still holds true, and is worth a read.
This is a transition year, but it can still be a great year for new students. It just won’t all fall into place on Day 1 (or 5 or 10). You must trust me about this.
— by Betsy Chapman, Ph.D. (’92, MA ’94)
August 18, 2022