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As we get close to the start of the fall semester, I like to share some of the unspoken norms of college life. Sometimes a parent or family member will ask me how to get in touch with their student’s faculty member, because they want to discuss their student’s progress, why they aren’t doing well, etc. We strongly advise families not to contact faculty members. Let me give you the background and rationale on why that is.

While family members talking to teachers might have been a routine occurrence at the K-12 level, it is something that is just not done at the college level. There are many reasons for that, not the least of which is that faculty will assume and expect that if there are issues with a student’s learning or understanding, the student will be the one to initiate that discussion. If a family member is the one trying to talk to the faculty member (rather than the student), it can actually hamper the student’s relationship with faculty, rather than help. A faculty member might wonder why the student is making their family member advocate for them, which can reflect poorly on the student.

Some of the important out-of-the-classroom learning opportunities of college are for students to learn to have difficult conversations, advocate for themselves, etc. Students need to be able to practice those skills independently. So it is not in a student’s best interest for families to have any contact with their faculty members (no matter what the subject).

Typically when I hear from family members asking for faculty email addresses or contacts, it is because their student is not performing well in a class. You should know that there are lots of free resources available for students who are struggling. The Learning Assistance Center has individual peer tutoring and also academic coaching. There is also a Bio Center, Chemistry Center, Computer Science Center, Math and Stats Center, and Writing Center with free assistance for students in those areas. These services can be accessed from the start of the semester.

Another great resource students should take advantage of is faculty office hours. Office hours are set times each week that the faculty member makes themselves available for drop in questions or assistance. In the event office hours conflict with a student’s class time, they can contact the faculty to set up a meeting at a convenient time for both parties. When a student shows up in their faculty member’s office, it can signal that they are really trying to master the material/get their questions answered/put in the necessary work.

So in the event your student is struggling in a class this fall and has issues, your best course of action is not to try and talk to the faculty member. Contacting the professor will not likely have the impact you want, and could even be counterproductive. Instead, prompt your student with some questions that might spur some action:

Didn’t I read somewhere that there is free tutoring on campus? 

What has your faculty member said when you talked to them about it?

Would your RA be a potential resource to help you think through available resources?

Is this something your academic adviser or Office of Academic Advising might be able to help you with?

So give your students some suggestions on how to get started, then stand back and let them do the rest.

 

— by Betsy Chapman, Ph.D. (’92, MA ’94)

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