Things one should learn in college

In this Issue: today we talk about things one should ideally learn in college

I am still on PTO so this is a lightly-edited pre-post.

I run this column most summers in case it may be good fodder for conversations with your Deac.

College learning doesn’t just take place in the classroom – as a matter of fact, we talk about the whole campus as a classroom. Here’s my list of what I hope our students learn in college – and a couple of ideas readers supplied! You and your Deac might have other ideas – and it could be fun to talk about those and compare notes.

Things one should learn:

• How to be a good friend.  This includes being willing to spend time with someone who is in need, really listening to them, not judging. (Remember you can refer friends to 336.758.CARE if you are concerned about them!)
• How to have a productive conversation with someone who thinks differently than you – to have a civil, polite conversation.
• To be a critical consumer of information. This means not blindly accepting what someone says (or what you read on the internet). Check sources. Do your homework.
• That someone else succeeding doesn’t diminish your achievements in any way, so lift people up when you can.
• That you should always have a plan when you are traveling: know where you are, know how you are getting home, and have enough money to get there. This is especially important when you are in a foreign country.***
• To do what you know is right, even if that is not what others are doing.
• That there is no ‘perfect’ in life. And it is OK not to be perfect. ‘Good enough’ is enough.
• What your body needs in terms of nutrition, exercise, sleep. Your proportions will be different from other peoples’ and you need to honor your own limits.
• That there will be bad times, sad times, disasters, and crises in your life. And while uncomfortable, those times will pass and good things will come again.
• That “comparison is the thief of joy.”
• Where you will draw the line in terms of ethics and values. What is worth compromising? What is *never* worth compromising?
• What are your must-haves in a relationship (be it friendship, romance, etc.)  You will be a better friend and partner if you know what you want and need and are comfortable saying what you need.
• That you are only as good as your word, and it is easier to maintain a good reputation than try to repair a tarnished one.
• That is is OK to ask for help when you need it. Not just OK, it is smart to ask for help.
• That there are very few things in life that are permanent, so normal mistakes or missteps don’t determine your future.
• How to fight fair.  Choose your words wisely, because “once said, never unsaid.”
• That helping others gives as much to you as it does to them.
• How to be an engaged citizen: e.g., register to vote and vote in every election, make your views known to your legislators, volunteer your time in your community.
• What sparks joy for you, and learn to carve out time for it
• How to listen to your gut

That’s my first pass. What would you add to (or remove from) this list? Is this something you’d want to talk about with your Deac? What do you hope to impart to them?

*** edited to add *** that ‘always have a plan when you are traveling‘ was advice that I needed to listen to myself: I managed to lock my cellphone in a Vrbo as we departed on the last day of an international trip. I did not have all the info I needed to contact my host, so I spent several days in no-phone purgatory. And for all families of Deacs going abroad this fall, be sure they have set up a Recovery Contact in their phone *and* that they back said phone up regularly. So please, learn from my mistakes!!