Role Clarity
Editor’s note: While this was a pre-scheduled blog post, we want to share that notifications were sent on July 20 to students who have not submitted the required COVID-19 vaccination documentation.
Another pre-post while I am on vacation. This is featured in the Parents and Families section of the New Students website, but is something that might be useful to families of all years. And a note to the P’25s in the Daily Deacdom: if you have not been to the Advice for New Families page of the New Students site, please visit those pages between now and Move-In.
Our Family Communications Guidelines and Philosophy is a great place to start in your understanding of how families and the University can work together to support student success. As your student transitions to college, there are new expectations to embrace.
During the K-12 school years, families were encouraged to take an active part in their student’s education; a constant refrain for many families was teachers and principals telling you “parental/familial involvement leads to student success!” But in college, one of the goals is for students to develop independence, so families’ roles by definition must be different now.
Family members are still incredibly important – you are the key source of love and support for your students. In order to grow, college students need to begin making their own decisions. We encourage families to move away from a manager or director role with their students (where you provide directions and answers), and adopt more of a consultant role (where you serve as a sounding board to prompt their thinking, but allow your students to find their own answers).
Having role clarity can assist with the transition to college for students and families alike. Here are some suggestions on student vs. family roles:
Your student should:
Choose their classes and major
Make friends
Join campus organizations
Handle day to-day needs and decision-making
Be the one to work with faculty or campus offices when they have questions or need assistance
Share feedback or concerns with appropriate faculty or offices
Research areas of interest (e.g., study abroad)
Parents and families should:
Provide a loving base of support
Listen more, talk less
Give them space to grow
Be a sounding board
Prompt them with questions, not supply answers or directions
Help only if it’s truly needed (see Stop, Drop, and Roll)
The bottom line: in most cases, your Deac should be the one to do the work, make the call, ask the question, give the feedback, etc. Our students need space to learn and grow – and your problem solving skills are already well-developed. This is their time to find their own way, learn to troubleshoot their problems/issues, make their own decisions (and mistakes!), and develop independence.