Today we’d like to give you an overview of “Family 101″ or ‘How It’s Different Once Your Student Comes Home for Break.’

Thanksgiving break is approaching.  Some students have probably already elected to skip classes today or tomorrow, and most will be heading home (or to a friend’s home) for the long weekend.  Just a few weeks after Thanksgiving is Winter Break, when students are home for close to a month.  And even though they’ll be home again, things will not be the same as when they left for college in August.  Having your freshman home could be an adjustment for both parents and students alike.

Here are some of the potential topics that students and parents might need to navigate when the students are living at home again:

• Sleep schedules – many Wake Forest students live a nocturnal lifestyle.  They sleep in as late as their classes allow and stay up very late at night to do their schoolwork (or just to visit with friends and have fun).  This schedule can cause tension if you want to plan family activities that suit the rest of your family’s much- earlier-in-the-day schedule.
• Social life – related to the above, many students don’t plan to visit friends or see a movie until 11 p.m. or midnight, much to the dismay of parents who say “nothing good can possibly be going on between midnight and 3 am.”
• Curfew – your students may balk at the idea of a curfew, arguing that they have been living on their own all semester without any formal rules for a whole semester.  As a parent, you may want to insist (for your own peace of mind) that they come home by a certain time.  This is a moment for great diplomacy and potential compromise.
• Driving long distances to visit friends – the college Road Trip is a right of passage, and it is not uncommon to drive an hour or more to visit friends or go to another city where something fun is happening (concert, sporting event, etc.)  In addition to families worrying about students driving late at night, there can be hurt feelings that their student is wanting to spend more time with their friends than with younger siblings or family.
• Cleanliness (of person or room) – students may leave their childhood room in disarray or expect Mom or Dad to pick up after them, or not do their laundry/shower as often as the parents would like.
• Drinking alcohol at holiday celebrations – it’s still illegal for students under 21 to drink, but will Mom and Dad allow their student a glass of wine at a holiday meal? Or around the house?
• The student’s room – has it been given to a younger sibling?  Remodeled for an office?  If a student doesn’t know that his or her room has been essentially changed while they were away, it can be a big shock.

In order to avoid potential difficulties, it might be helpful for parents and students to talk about new expectations for students’ behavior before they come home for the holidays.  That way, each party knows what to expect on the issues they most care about, and you aren’t trying to negotiate items during a conflict, or add tension to what should be a happy family holiday.

There is an excellent article online that deals with some of the key issues parents and students face when adjusting to each other during the first extended stay at home following their first semester of college.

What are your best tips for ensuring a happy holiday break?  Share your best answers with .